6 Tips for Giving Amazing Feedback
The Feedback Pie. Image Credit: Ryan Aldrich
Feedback is the driver of all development. We grow and learn from it. Feedback forms our behavioral norms and emotional states. We give and receive feedback in our professional and personal lives. And yet, for something so important to growth and development, there are so many of us who give ineffective feedback. Thankfully, effective, functional feedback is something we can all learn to give, and it's as easy as using these six quick tips for delivery.
Keep in mind, feedback is communication regarding the observation of actions or behaviors. It is not a hard and rigid opinion, and all feedback is open to interpretation, which is partly why many are challenged in either delivering or receiving. Also, feedback is focused on the impact of actions or behaviors, not the actions or behaviors themselves. This is a key concept to knowing feedback's context.
1) Always ask for permission
The foundation of effective feedback delivery is asking for permission to give the feedback in the first place. Too often, feedback is given in a rush, or at inappropriate times. By asking if it's OK to give feedback, we open the door for acceptance from the person receiving the feedback. Feedback without permission is unsolicited, and we all know what it's like to get a knock at the door from a salesperson, or an unexpected phone call from a telemarketer.
Getting permission to deliver feedback doesn't need to be overly difficult. A simple, "is it ok if I give you some feedback?" is perfect. Add an extra detail about what you're delivering feedback on for an extra connection, such as, "I'd like to give you some feedback on the report you submitted, if that's ok." If someone says no, don't interpret it as saying no to the feedback. In this case, "no" means, "not right now." Set aside a time to follow up, or ask to be contacted at a later time so the feedback can be delivered.
Once permission has been attained, you can move on to the content and context of the feedback itself.
2) Give specific feedback
It doesn't matter what kind of feedback you're giving, it must be specific. Think back to times when you received positive, generic feedback, such as, "good job!" Did it feel good? Probably. Did you remember that feedback an hour later? The next day? Probably not. The best feedback is specific to the actions or behaviors that were observed. Specific feedback helps to reinforce positive behaviors, and to improve upon negative ones. Here are a couple of examples:
Positive generic feedback: "Great job!"
Positive Specific feedback: "Excellent report! I appreciate the detail you provided on the prior quarter's fiscal highlights. This will help me paint a positive picture at our board meeting. Great work!"
Negative generic feedback: "Could have been better."
Negative specific feedback: "I did not enjoy the breakout portion of the presentation, the topics seemed ambiguous and my group struggled to have effective discussion."
The difference between generic and specific feedback is the difference between isolated emotions and reinforcement of actions or the first step in an improvement plan. If you don't have specific feedback, it's best to not offer feedback at all.
3) Give feedback promptly
It's no secret that broaching any topic of discussion is most effective when minds are fresh and ripe with information. Giving feedback is no exception. Effective feedback is delivered as promptly as possible. This does not mean rushing up to someone to immediately throw words in their face, however. Remember, permission is key, and you need to have something specific to say. Prompt feedback means as promptly as appropriately possible. If someone doesn't want to receive feedback at a given time, follow up at the next available opportunity. The point is to not wait days, weeks, months before offering insight. The impact is long forgotten by then.
4) Give feedback in a calm manner
This tip applies more to giving negative, specific feedback, as it is not uncommon for negative feelings, such as frustration or anger, to be flowing. Something can also be said for positive feedback as well. No one likes a public cheerleader in a professional setting. Feedback is best received when it is delivered in a calm manner. Note, calm does not mean deadpanning. Just avoid raising your voice, flailing arms, overly animated anything.
5) Always have positive intent
Positive intent is arguably the most important part of giving negative, specific feedback. It's already lumped in with positive feedback - praise is positive after all! When delivering negative feedback, the focus of the feedback should always be in growth and improvement. This means withdrawing as much emotion as possible from the delivery, and perhaps even asking what someone's intent was and offering a possible improvement action. Returning to the negative feedback example in tip #2, a way to insert positive intent might look like this:
"I did not enjoy the breakout portion of the presentation. The topics seemed ambiguous and my group struggled to have effective discussion. Perhaps your intent was to allow for open ideas, but it was a little too open for us. Perhaps offering some examples for discussion will help future discussion groups."
Offering a possible solution with your feedback conveys the sense that you are vested in helping others succeed or improve. Positive intent is a way of saying, "I am your ally." As someone who has received lots of feedback in my career, I can point to these conversations as my most significant points of growth and connection with others. I have stronger relationships with those who have delivered feedback to me with positive intent.
6) Always be respectful
This should go without saying, but you'd be surprised how many times I've heard feedback that was downright disrespectful to someone. Feedback should never be personal, even though it is based on someone's actions and behavior. If someone was very nervous during a speech and it affected the quality of the message, there's nothing wrong with saying, "I could tell you were nervous. Have you ever presented to a group this large?" It is not OK to say, "you're too nervous. I wouldn't do keynote speeches again if I were you." Keep feedback focused on the impact of actions and behaviors, not on the actions or behaviors themselves.
Putting it all together
Effective feedback delivery can make or break a relationship. It can lift teamwork to new levels, build stronger bonds, and maximize growth and development for you and your team. There is a learning curve to effective, functional feedback, but it's the most worthwhile investment you can make in your future, and the future of everyone around you. Learn it, use it, grow from it.
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